In order to move yourself up the “ranks” in life you have to realise your own self worth. When I say “self worth” I mean what you feel you’re worth in terms of a human being. Not how much you own or have in the bank!
Discovering that you are worth a LOT as a human being is an enlightening and exuberayting experience. People go through their entire lives feeling as though they’re worthless, not good enough, or that they can’t speak what’s truly on their mind.
Once you realise that you are worthy of anything you wish for in life, you can begin to become more assertive. What benefits does more assertiveness hold for us? It means that you can be more respected, get more done and not be anyones doormat!
It’s vital that we become more assertive in life, so that we don’t fall into a false sense of who we believe we are. If we start to feel as though we can’t say something to someone, as we feel we don’t have the “position” or “stature” to do so, then we are devaluing ourselves as people.
Let’s look at this in a common everyday scenario. In the workplace, usually at some point during the day something may go wrong. However big or small the issue is, somebody spots it. If the “boss” or person in charge hasn’t noticed this fault, they’d most likely WANT to be notified of it IF it pertains to them, and is worth their attention. If not the boss, then the supervisor or anybody who “needs” to know.
The people who value themselves, will usually alert the correct person about this issue or fault, and the reciprocator will be thankful and appreciative.
The people who feel they AREN’T worthy, will say nothing, and let the issue get worse. Which could result in worser scenarios occurring for them or their workplace.
Who do you think will be viewed in a better light from the above situation? The person who has the guts to speak up of course!
They were more assertive, showed an interest in their workplace and its well-being. It showed that they feel they’re worthy of speaking up about anything that needs to be brought to attention.
How many times have you been at work, or even in a social situation, and something similar to the above has happened? Did you speak up? Alert anyone? Or did you remain quiet, hoping that someone would come across the issue sooner or later?
As long as you aren’t stepping on anyones toes or being irritating, you should always be more assertive in all situations, bringing to light what needs to be. Use your own best judgement for this, especially in the workplace!
You should be able to communicate with anyone. Talk to anyone and get your point across. If you’re a boss and you need to tell your staff to do something, be assertive and realise your position and self worth in the situation.
So what if you feel like this isn’t “doable” for you? What if you’re generally a quiet person, who doesn’t feel that “assertiveness” is one of your strong points?
No problem! Assertiveness can be learned. Through using a few key areas, you can improve your feeling of “self-worth” and in doing so become more assertive.
If you’re an expert at your workplace or in any area in life, you should use this to your strengths. If you aren’t an expert, and feel as though you don’t know a lot about an area you find yourself involved with frequently, you should study it!
Knowledge helps people grow in confidence, as they feel that they can contribute to a conversation or project. This will empower you to become more assertive, as you’ll have raised your awareness of your “self worth” to a level where you feel comfortable about “speaking up”.
Above all “knowledge” is what will enable you to become more assertive as a person. BUT being assertive and remaining in a “good light” in other peoples perspectives can be a difficult task.
Based upon the people you’re talking with they may feel like you’re being “bossy”, “arrogant” or “in their face” etc. With this in mind, you should always aim to deliver your assertive dialogue in the following manner:
- Be clear in what you’re trying to say to the person. Stay on point, and keep it simple.
- Keep eye contact, sit down or stand up, and make sure the tone of your voice is calm.
- Remember, if you feel you have to speak up, you must truly believe in what you’re about to say. Therefore you shouldn’t need to apologise nor should you, if you feel that what you’re saying is correct.
- Always deliver your assertive dialogue in a relaxed, calm yet direct manner, and refrain from sound “angry” or “negative” in any way.
If you can be assertive using the above methods, then you will be well received, and lessen the chances of anyone becoming offended. We’re all unique, and we respond to orders, objections and constructive criticism differently. Therefore you must bear this in mind when talking in an assertive tone to others, as they may be easily offended and get the wrong impression.
Quite often when we’re passionate in an area, we will feel the need to speak our minds and sound very assertive. There’s nothing wrong with this, as long as there’s a good atmosphere around you and you’re being well received. However if it feels awkward and a little quiet, you may have overstepped the mark. Remember to use your own best judgement, based upon the people and circumstances you find yourself involved with.
Overall, in order to position yourself better through assertiveness, you must become as knowledgable as you can in your chosen area. Then you need to realise your “self worth” and that you CAN speak up when you need to. And finally, be careful about the way you speak assertively, make sure it’s delivered in a calm, precise and understanding manner.