It’s no secret that when we feel calm, we feel more positive about life. We feel more grounded, happy, relaxed and in tune with our surroundings. Therefore, it’s no wonder that any choices or decisions we make from this “calm state” create a positive effect in our lives.
However, it’s also no secret that a majority of us AREN’T very calm most of the time. We’re either rushed, busy, or occupied with thoughts that don’t supply us with “calming” attributes.
Acting out from a mind state that isn’t calm, relaxed and resourceful, tends to lead us on less beneficial paths. For example, how many times has something angered you, and then you’ve “acted out” from that mind state, and made a bad decision? We’ve all been there and done it, so don’t feel bad about it.
It’s fine to accept how we’ve acted out in the past, and may even be acting out currently, as acceptance is a part of “moving on”.
It’s better to learn through mistakes, than to continue making them right? Therefore, look at your past and even current states as lessons on how to change your mental state for the better. Each failure moves you a step closer to success, and helps you live life from a wiser stand point.
The key is to counteract negative states of mind, through acceptance and present moment awareness, so that you can transcend any “harmful” mental states into positive ones. Don’t worry this isn’t any spiritual mumbo jumbo, believe me that’s not what I’m about!
It’s literally living through choices, and we ALWAYS have a choice in the moment to act how we wish to. It comes with taking control over our minds and the way we react to things.
Our minds are a wonderful tool when used correctly, but they can be extremely harmful to use when we lose control of them. Every thought that pops into our minds has the power to influence us. From here, thoughts become actions, and actions shape our lives. However, deeper than this is another option. The option to CHOOSE how we react to thoughts.
If you can carry with you an idea that you wish to become more calm in life, then you can approach EVERYTHING you do from this perspective. For example, if a negative thought arises, or situation occurs externally (which will still create thoughts in your mind about how to react to the external situation), then look at them with your calm perspective.
Try not to “engage”, “bash away” OR “ignore” negative thoughts. A much better approach is to accept them. Accept that they’re there, and simply watch them from your calm perspective. If you ignore the thoughts, you aren’t allowing your mind to process them, which can be dangerous in itself. It’s best to always acknowledge thoughts, but not necessarily engage with them.
Don’t let your thoughts consume you, when you watch them (but don’t engage with them), they simply float away and you’re untouched by them.
If you try to fight negative thoughts, they will have won the battle, as you’re losing your state of “calm” through an aggressive reactive pattern.
Realise that you are separate from your thoughts, and that you have the CHOICE as to which thoughts you take seriously and engage with. From this perspective, you can remain calm in the most “trying” of situations and experiences.
From here, as we know, acting out from a state of “calmness” will produce healthier, more beneficial and positive outcomes, than if you reacted out of anger or any other negative mind states.
Lets look at this in an example format, and see how it can work for you practically:
“Jane has a history of acting out in anger. She has a stressful job, young children and isn’t very happy with her life situation.
One day Jane enters her workplace, to be lumped with a LOAD of work that’s going to mean she has to work “late” that night. This infuriates Jane, as she’s already tired and wants to relax. She then spends the rest of her day in a bad state of mind, which causes her work ethic and effectiveness to become slack, meaning she gets less done, and takes longer to finish her working day.”
The above example shows how acting out of frustration, anger and stressful states of mind can prolong your “suffering”. However, if Jane had approached this scenario with her “calm” perspective, how do you think it would have turned out?
Instead of engaging with her frustration, anger and stress, she could have watched it dissolve in her minds eye. Then, she could calmly get on with her work, meaning her morale, work ethic and effectiveness were far better than usual. Meaning overall, that she finished her working day earlier, and in a more happy, positive and HEALTHY state.
Here’s what it all boils down to. We all have to deal with situations we’d rather not, and life doesn’t always deal us the greatest of cards! But our lives and happiness is shaped by the way that we react to these kinds of scenarios and situations. We have the choice to react positively or negatively. One option produces happiness and health, the other is a never ending spiral of suffering.
Through our choices and perspectives, we can drastically transform our lives to create more happiness in and around us. Which will have a ripple effect into every area of our lives (relationships, career, opportunities, hobbies and more).
What can you do from here? Start practicing this method within your daily life as much as possible. Simply notice your negative thoughts and reaction patterns, and stop them in their tracks using your new calm perspective.
If you allow yourself to react in a calmer way, your choices will lead you to a more positive, healthy and happy life. Remember you have the power to be in control or your mind and what thoughts you engage with, it’s just a matter of realising this and not letting negative thoughts consume you!