Whether you realise it or not, you are in control of your decisions and choices in life.
Granted, we’re all dealt a certain “hand” when we enter this world, and we don’t have “that” much control over how we’re raised to a certain age. But there comes a time where our decisions and choices sculpt the life we live.
To that extent, we’ve created our present moment circumstances through all of our past decisions, and we’re currently creating our future situation too. You create your own story…
I think this concept is fairly simple yet eye-opening, and it’s also quite a beautiful thing.
So, let’s look at the “creation” and “story” parts of this topic. What do they consist of? How do they work?
We like to think that we are all individuals, and that we make our own choices in life. This IS the case to a certain extent, BUT, we’re all also influenced by hundreds of variables and factors in our environment.
Media, news, family, friends, work, weather, finances, life, death, and numerous other areas. These all mingle with our very malleable brains and force us to make decisions and form “beliefs”.
Beliefs are like opinions, they aren’t facts until proven. However, we can use them to our advantage! Through forming certain beliefs you can change the way you act, operate and think in life, which will impact your results.
I’ve spoken about these areas before when talking about the science behind affirmations. Check that post out if you haven’t for more on that stuff!
There’s an enlightening “switch” or “ah-Ha” moment you get when you realise that you can and have been influenced. It’s a revelation that has multiple meanings and understandings to it, for example:
- You learn that you can deflect influences you don’t like, and accept those that are aligned with your goals.
- You learn that it’s “ok” that you have been influenced, it’s part of nature and psychology.
I understand that some points in this post will seem conflicting or confusing, and to be honest, that’s kind of the point. I want this post to provoke questions AND awareness within you so you can see how this all works.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I’m a NO BS guy. I don’t like the fact that a lot of self-improvement “gurus” talk about creating your own destiny without giving the truth behind what that entails and means.
Whilst it’s certainly true that you “create your own story”, I think that statement should be extended to, “you create your own story through choosing which influences you’d like to digest”…
My reason for the above statement is that unless you’re consciously choosing which influences you digest, you’re not really creating your own story. You’re being manipulated and forced into a way of life by your environment, without having any “say” or “choice” in the matter.
If we’re all influenced and manipulated by things in either a conscious, unconscious, or forceful manner from other sources, doesn’t it make sense to put ourselves in charge of what we take in and what we reject?
We do this already some of the time, as our decisions, choices and reactions to events are a result of our “values” and “beliefs”. But to ensure that you’re being productive, and making decisions that will create opportunity and success for you, it’s important to become aware of any values and beliefs that you hold that could prevent growth.
It’s kind of a paradox, and to sum it up in a sentence, “we’re in control of how we’re manipulated and influenced”, that’s a far more accurate way of putting it. The trick to navigating through this concept is to develop as much awareness of your decisions as you possibly can. Then you’ll notice how you’re acting, and whether those actions are going to benefit you.
So while the self-help gurus may be right, we do create our own story and results, I wanted to inquire deeper into the science and psychology behind this idea, as I think this information puts areas such as “the law of attraction” to bed…
Ultimately, your actions produce opportunities and results. What I find frustrating is that someone, somewhere along the line replaced the word “produce” with “attract”, and all of a sudden some “magical force” came into play.
It’s really fairly simple, you have a thought about something, you act in accordance with that thought, and a result is produced. If you’re consistently thinking about something, you’re far more likely to NOTICE things aligned with those thoughts when you consciously see them, and there’s a real law at work there, and that’s called “probability”. There’s a mathematical equation to everything, and probability explains those occurrences.
But, I believe the real scientific explanation is MORE magical and actionable than the wanky nonsense that has spewed into the self-improvement industry. As with a lot of misinformation, someone probably misinterpreted a metaphor and took it literally, and then a new concept became “fact” with no evidence.
Anyway, I’m getting all “rant-like” now and that’s not the point of this post!
Wrapping things up…
You create your own story through controlling your influences, decisions and choices and lastly, your actions. Learn to become more aware of your environment, thoughts, and actions, then you will be able to act in a way that aligns with your goals to bring about a happier more successful life situation for yourself.
Assess your current beliefs and values, do they aid your goals? Or could they be suppressing them from materialising?
From here, you can craft beliefs, values, and then let in influences that will help you achieve more of what you want in life.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, as usual please “Like, “Share” and “Comment” below!